Under the Rain
by Ky'atia Archive
Summary: SiriusJames slash! James is painfully smitten with Sirius, but does Sirius feel the same way? And Remus has a secret of his own! SiriusJames, RemusSirius, one sided LilyJames. RomanceHumourDrama
1. Chapter 1

Title: Under the Rain

Rating: PG-13 (I would say higer due to some of the snogging scenes, but I don't think it is R material.)

WARNING: Slash story. If you don't like it, PLEASE... read it anyway! If you like, flame me all you want! It really is quite an honour to be able to stir such emotion in someone that they would take the time to tell me that they hated my story or loved it, either way.

Disclaimer: The ideas are TOTALLY MINE! The characters and setting names are NOT! They belong to J.K. Rowling. BTW, "Evans" is Lily Evans... ya know? Harry's mum?

Pairings: James/Sirius, Remus/Sirius, implied & one sided Lily/James

scene switches

Chapter 1: The Perfect Couple...?

Day One...

"Hey, Sirius!" James called, whining from across the common room. The black haired man got up and sauntered over to his lover.

"What is it, James?" he asked. A smirk played across his lips as the older man grabbed ahold of his hips and pulled him down onto his lap.

"I missed you," he said. Sirius wrapped his legs around the torso of his boyfriend and pulled himself close enough to James that they seemed to mold together.

"I love you, Sirius... so much that it breaks my heart to be apart from you. Just seeing your face... it lights my day..." James said with a loving smile, brushing Sirius's hair behind his ears.

"And I... love you James..." he said, his tone almost as if he was having some internal struggle. James tried to brush it off by prolonging their already firey kiss and pulling him closer, but his heart told his something was wrong.

For a moment they forgot that the world was going on around them, that they were in the common room. Sirius pushed James down onto the couch so he was laying flat beneath him.

"I do love you, Sirius..." James whispered as he began to take off Sirius's shirt. His perfect muscles were illuminated in the firelight's glow. The shaggy haired man followed suit and removed James' t-shirt as well. He leaned down and met the older Gryffindor's lips with his own.

"Sirius..." James moaned as the dark eyed man began to nibble on his ear, trailing burning kisses down his neck.

"Mmmm..." Sirius tossed his head back in extacy, then looked his love in the eye as James ran his hands over his chest, playing his fingers across his pebbly nipples. He leaned up slowly and captivated his nipple ring in his mouth. He heard Sirius gasp for air as he began running his tongue over it and gently tugging on it.

"THAT'S ENOUGH, YOU TWO!" came a loud screech rattling the two lovers out of their dream world. They looked around quickly only to find that every Gryffindor was staring at the two with wide eyes. 

McGonagall tore acros the room, glaring daggers at them as she said, "I have never seen such a rovolting display of affection in my life! In the COMMON ROOM of all places! 20 points from Gryffindor... for each of you! Detention tonight with Professor Aradia! Go to your dormitories AT ONCE!"

"Did you see the look on her face?!" James asked pulling Sirius close.

Remus and Peter walked in, both of them howling with laugher. "Lovely show boys! Look, James, Sirius, we (along with the rest of the school) know you're gay, but don't you think that having a full blown snog fest in the middle of the common room was a little much to drive the point home?" Remus asked.

"I'm NOT gay!," James said. "I am bi."

"What are you trying to say, James? You want a girl now?" Remus demanded, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah, you know it!" Sirius slapped his boyfriend with a grin on his face and pretened to sulk.

"Fine, James. If you'd rather snog Evans, you go right ahead. I'll just pin Remus in a dark closet instead." Sirius walked over to Lupin and wrapped his arms around him.

"Let's go find that closet, love!" Sirius said in a dramatic tone.

"Ooh, but you're boyfriend might get mad!" he said, running his hands through Sirius's long hair.

"Aww... you two make a cute couple!" Peter said. The two seperated and looked at each other laughing.

"Better watch it, Wormtail; Prongs might have to hurt you!" Remus said, grinning.

"Nah. Everyone knows that Sirius and I are the perfect couple. I'd actually like to see the idiot who thinks we won't be together forever."

Sirius got a look mixed of guilt and fear on his face that he forced away as soon as it came so no one would notice.

But James Potter saw it, and it tore his heart in two.

"Evans... EVANS!" James shouted across the courtyard.

"What?" she said, sitting down by him on one of the more isolated stone benches.

"I need your advice on something."

"Okay... what about?"

"If someone proposed to you, who was a guy, but so were you, and he had no idea what he was doing and he thought he'd make a total fool of himself--"

"James!" she said, silencing him. "Are you planning on asking Sirius to marry you?"

"Well... yeah. But every time I think about it I freak out! What kind of ring should I get him? Should I let HIM pick it out? And... what... what if he says no, Lily?"

"Trust me! He loves you! Can't you see it? ...When he looks into your eyes, anyone watching is always amazed at it, how you two look at each other," she said in a sort of sad tone that he couldn't identify exactly.

"How do I know that? He's been acting so distant these last couple of months, just when we got to be very serious. When I tell him I love him, it is like he's making himself say it back. He acts so scared at the thought of love, how would he react to something like marriage?! Maybe... maybe he doesn't really love me..."

"James, you have to understand. Of course he is scared! He loves you, a man, when he has been told his whole life that loving differently is wrong. He questions his feelings for you because maybe, deep down inside, he doubts your feelings for him; he may not even realize it. The thought of settling doesn with only one person for his whole life, giving this person his heart and soul, and then having your parents tell you every day that it is not real, that it is wrong... wouldn't you be nervous?"

"... How the hell could anyone have all that running through their head? Why wouldn't he just talk to me about it?" James whispered, awestruck.

"Fear. He would think that you would not understand what he felt or even worse, he wouldn't want you to tell him that you don't care about him. You must understand, James, he comes from a different world than you do. Now, unless you catch him cheating on you or something of the sort, I wouldn't say anything. Let him come to you about this. Be gentle with him always and let him know every day that you'll love him no matter what happens."

He pondered this for a moment before saying, "You know Evans... if I already wasn't in love with a wonderful man, I'd have to ask you out."

She blushed bright crimson and said, "My name is Lily, for starters! And I am a girl!"

"And I am bi, Evans. Not gay."

"Oh! Sorry!"

He grinned and said, "Don't worry. It's a common misconseption. Well, in any case, thank you. I needed that..." He got up to leave, getting about halfway across the courtyard before she called back to him. "Just one more thing, James!"

"What?" he asked, turning around.

Smirking viciously, she asked in a sly voice, "Which one of you is the girl?"

"EVANS!!!"

"Just kidding!"

He started to walk again before turning back and calling her name, "Hey, Evans!"

"Yeah?"

"Sirius!"

"That's a bloody lie and you know it! Wasn't he the one screwing you into the couch?"

He gaped at her, blushing brighter than even she did and nodded, walking back into the castle.

The four Maurauders sat in the Room of Requirement, surrounded by textbooks about Alchemy, Remus's favourite new subject. He was flipping throuh an impressively gargantuan book entitled Every Herb Combination EVER and Their Results in Full Detail.

"Good book, Moony?" Sirius asked as James sat behind him, nibbling on his neck. Remus looked up, choosing to ignore what James was doing, and smiled. He gave Sirius a fleeting long of longing before going back to his book. 

Sirius flushed; why had Remus looked at him like that... and what was this emotion stirring in his chest?

"Hey! After our detention tonight, why don't we all go swimming in the forest? I saw a spring there once; it looked really romantic..." his voice trailed off as he looked into his true love's eyes. Their faces drew closer, but before their lips could even touch, Remus seperated the two by yelling, "Go get a room, you two!"

Sirius looked up in surprise but James simply laughed and replied smartly, "We've already got one!"

"Then go snog there if you must!" Remus retorted, trying to keep a light tone. They sat in silence for a moment.

"Remus, come over here for a second..." Sirius said, pulling him out of the Room of Requirement and into the nearest classroom.

"Are you okay, love? You're been acting rather strang lately..."

"I know.. it's just that.. well... I..."

"Yes? You can tell me, Moony!"

"It's... nothing... Don't worry about it, Padfoot..." he said, exiting the classroom swiftly, followd closely by Sirius.

"Remus Lupin, get back here now! I know when you hide things. Just tell me. ...You've seemed so miserable these last couple months and if you just talked to me, I know it will help."

"Look Sirius, there is only one person... who could make my pain go away... and even thought he is near enough for me to reach out and touch, he was taken from me long ago..." he said, trying to fight off the inevitable tears.

"Remus, I'll always be here for you. If you ever, ever need anything, no matter how small, come to me."

"I couldn't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because the one thing I need no one else can give me," Remus said before heading for the dormitories.

"So, are we still on for swimming?" James asked as he and Sirius walked out of their detention.

"I'll go, Peter is coming, and I think wel'll have to drag Remus along."

"Why's that?"

"He's just... I think he wants what we have, and seeing us always happy and together... it hurts him," Sirius said.

"Oh... OH!" he exclaimed with dawning comprehension. "I think I understand something now!"

"What?" Sirius asked, a confused look spreading over his face.

"It's nothing! You go tell the others to go get ready and I'll meet you in the dormitory, okay?" Without waiting for a responce, James began to dash down the corridor to the Prefect's bathroom.

"Hey, Evans!" James yelled, runnig over to the pool sized bathtub. She poked her head out of the bobbles and looked horrifyed upon seeing him.

"What are you doing?! You don't do this to people; intruding on a bath, honestly!" she screached, hiding under the bubbles.

"Relax, Evans! I assure you, I'm not here to gawk at you while you're in the tub. I didn't see anything I liked anyway," he said with a wink.

"BURN IN HELL!"

"Take it easy, Evans! I need to ask you something."

"Whatever. You turn around, though, while I'm getting dressed."

"Gladly. Anyway," he said while turning, catching a view of a sleeping mermaid in a painting.

"Anyway, what?"

"I figured something out."

"What?"

"Remus likes Sirius! I understand it now; why he's acting so weird, I mean."

"Remus does?!" she asked from behind, undoubtedly surprised.

"Yeah! It's just something that my lovely boyfriend said that made me realize. I don't think Sirius has figured it out yet, but it makes sense."

"You can turn around now. Now, if Remus actually likes Sirius, talk to him! There's not much else you can do, you know."

"There's nothing else? I have to confront one of my best friends about that?!"

"If you want to know for sure. Or, well... you could do something like... watch expressions and tones in his voice. Figure it out then."

"How do you do it, Evans?"

"How do I do what?" she asked, puzzled.

"You know everything! How do you figure all this out? Not just this time, but it's all of you. You are brilliant!" he finished, his tone quite sincere.

"Thanks, James..." she said, looking at him almost dreamily. After a few moments of gazing at him, she seemed to snap out of it and blushed furiously, her cheeks turning a violent red. She ran from the room leaving behind a deep blue velvet book on the place where she had been sitting.

"Hmm..." he said as he picked up and pocketed the book. "Well, in any case... that was bloody bizarre!"

SPLASH!

James hit the pond and sent water pouring in every direction. "Padfoot! I swear you're gonna get it!" he said as he climbed out of the water, dripping. His black shirt clung to every one of his muscles. The lovers began to chase each other around the moonlit clearing. James caught Sirius and pulled him down to the ground, pinning him under himself.

"Got you!" James said, looking him lovingly in the eye.

"You do... so claim you prize!"

"What are my choices?

"Swimming, Snogging, or Shagging!" Sirius said jokingly.

"The last one!!!!"

"Wrong answer!" Sirius whispered, rolling into the pond and dragging James along with him. With water swirling around them, James claimed his kiss...

...but Remus had to battle his tears away before it was all to late.

CHAPTER ONE COMPLETE!

I hope you all liked it! I will update as soon as I can!

Reviews would be nice and as I am a review whore... you get the picture ;-)

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	2. Chapter 2

Title: Under the Rain

Rating: PG-13

WARNING: Slash story. If you don't like it, PLEASE... read it anyway! If you like, flame me all you want! It really is quite an honour to be able to stir such emotion in someone that they would take the time to tell me that they hated my story or loved it, either way.

Disclaimer: The ideas are TOTALLY MINE! The characters and setting names are NOT! They belong to J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Two: Caught in an Impossible Dream

Day Two...

"Hey Moony! Whatcha doing?" Sirius asked, sitting next to Remus on a stone bench in the deserted courtyard.

He closed his copy of "Every Alchemist's Uses for Every Herb in the Universe" and looked over at him.

"Just reading a bit, Padfoot," he said with a look of... something Sirius couldn't identify on his face.

"Why are you bothering with such a deadly dull book? You could be reading something exciting... like MY book!" Sirius said in the same tone a child would when he just found out he got to go to Disney World.

"You haven't got a book."

"Have so," he said and pulled out a book entitled "How to be a Maurauder" with his name under the title.

"You're publicizing our secrets?" Remus asked in a more hurt tone than the situation called for.

"No, of course not! This book is something I'm making for me and James's baby!"

"...Baby?"

"Well, we were considering adoption, you know. ...Just kidding, Moony..." he said, taking note of the crestfalled expression washing over his friends face.

"Remus...?"

A tear fell from the younger wizard's eye. He clawed it away, trying to hide his pain away from Sirius

...Needless to say, he failed miserably.

Sirius embraced Remus and held him captive with his arms, but also with his heart and soul. Remus welcomed this new feeling, sighing, and allowed it to wash over him.

"What's wrong, Remus?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it, Sirius..."

He loosened his hold on him enough to look him in the eye. "Remus, you can tell me anything; you know that, love."

Remus looked him in his dark eyes and began to speak in a bearly audible voice, "You sure you want to know?"

When Sirius nodded, he continued in a voice only a little stronger than what he felt. "I... I've seen how you and James look at one another and I know that I can never have that. I see how you love and idolize each other... how each of you worship the other one. I know my dream will never come true; I know all too well that you both are so deep in love that you don't see the world around you... and you, Sirius..." he said, his voice breaking, "...you don't see my heart breaking every time I see you because I love you so much."

Remus broke down into tears, wishing to be anywhere but here. Sirius embraced him once more, tighter than even before; he began to dust his cheek with feather soft kisses. "Remus... why... why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked, thoroughly shocked by this new information.

"You and James were together by the time I realized it... It was in our fifth year. Remember, we were making a love potion with Professor Aradia? Our eyes locked and remember, you kissed me on the cheek and forehead just to see what I would do. I knew it right then that I loved you."

"Oh, Moony... all this time? I'm so sorry..."

"Sirius..." he wispered. Their eyes met again and Remus didn't wait a second to captivate Sirius's lips. Strong tides of emotion washing over both of them, neither noticed James walking into the courtyard, his jaw dropping in pure shock. Tears sprang viciously to his eyes; he allowed them to fall freely as he ran from the sight, not knowing where he was going, just trying to get away. He ran into Lily Evans near the Gryffindor tower. They fell to the ground, James not even caring who or what he had ran into. He curled up on the floor, sobbing. Lily took her arms around him and guided him to the Prefect lounge. They sat on the couch, James crying on Lily's shoulder.

"James, what is it?"

"He... but Remus... and in the courtyard... and he..." and he just kept crying.

She held him for more than an hour like that, but even though he never said anything else, she knew it was about Sirius. How could it have been about anything else? Sirius, whatever he had done, had broken James's heart.

Lily heard his sobbing slowly quiet down undil it was more of a soul wrenching moan. She continued to hold him and stroak his hair for awhile longer until she heard him speak. "I saw him out in the courtyard with Remus. They... I was standing in the entrance when I saw Sirius wrap his arms around him and start kissing him so gently on the cheek... like he does to me... and I... He kissed him! Why Lily...? Why wasn't I good enough?"

"Shh... don't talk now. Just stay here with me."

"No... I need to go see Sirius..." said James.

Remus... one of his best friends in the world... had fallen in love... with him?! How could this have gone unnoticed for so long? Feeling the unfamiliar set of lips pressing against his own, Sirius felt a strong surge of nauseating guilt pierce his heart. He pulled away from Remus, leaving him looking flushed.

"I... I... oh, Remus, I'm sorry. This isn't right. I'm so sorry..."

With that, Sirius started to run. He felt immense guily, sadness and... something else all welling up inside him as if he would burst with the emotions swirling inside of him. A rush of heat came over him as he entered James's and his room.

Sirius saw his black haired lover sitting on their bed, his cheeks red and eyes bloodshot. He ran to James and wrapped his arms around him, pushing him down on their bed. Crying, he said, "James, I'm so sorry..."

James didn't ask what about. He knew. Sirius rolled them over onto their sides, tears flowing rapidly down both of their faces. James held him tighter and and they stayed there looking at each other, exchanging small kisses and tears the whole night.

A/N: Much shorter than the last chapter, but I covered everything that needed to be done. There are probably three more chapters of this little ficlet... 

NEXT CHAPTER: Day three...

What will James do??

How will Sirius tell James?! And... how will Remus react?

Like I said, I'm a review whore, so...


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Under the Rain Rating: PG-13 (I would say higher due to some of the snogging scenes, but I don't think it is R material.) WARNING: Slash story. If you don't like it, PLEASE... read it anyway (weren't expecting that, were you?)! If you don't like, flame me all you want! It really is quite an honour to be able to stir such emotion in someone that they would take the time to tell me that they hated my story or loved it, either way. Disclaimer: The ideas are TOTALLY MINE! The characters and setting names are NOT! They belong to J.K. Rowling. BTW, "Evans" is Lily Evans... ya know? Harry's mum? Pairings: James/Sirius, Remus/Sirius, implied & one sided Lily/James Scene switches

Chapter three: Can't Help Loving You

Day Three...

Sirius woke up that morning feeling miserable. 'Imagine that,' he thought. 'Most people who cheat on their boyfriend of nearly four years would. Almost four years... four years in only one more day...'

One day? Their anniversary was in only one day?!

At the realization, Sirius pressed his lips to the unconscious Gryffindor's closed eyes, causing them to flutter open. "Good morning, sleepy head!" "Good morning... Sirius... we need to talk, don't we?" "A-about last night?" he asked, his voice shaking. "Yes. Are you okay, love?" "I guess so... I just... I don't know. James, I am sorry. I'm so sorry, my love," Sirius said, beginning to cry once more. James took him in his arms and let him cry. "What's wrong, love?" he asked, knowing fully what was hurting him so. "I just don't want to hurt you." "You know that you can always tell me anything. Sirius, no matter what, I'll always love you." "No matter what?" he asked in disbelief. "No matter what. Do you realize what power over me that is? You could do anything and I would still love you just as much as I do right now."  
"Oh, James, I'm sorry. I just can't hurt you like that."   
James sat with Lily Evans in the Prefect lounge, his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his deep brown hair, attempting to comfort him.

"Lily... What did I do wrong?" James asked her.  
"What do you mean?"  
"It's Sirius. First he can barely say that he loves me, then he is out snogging Remus and now he won't even talk to me because he 'doesn't want to hurt me.' I'm serious, Lily... he doesn't love me," James said, tears flowing down his cheeks. He put his hands to his face, sobs escaping his lips.  
"Oh, darling, I'm so sorry. I am sure you've heard that so much... I... I don't even know what to say."  
"Can I just stay here with you for awhile? ...I need to talk to someone. Damn it! I can't help loving him... why?"  
"Oh, sweetie, I don't know... What are you going to do tomorrow, James?"  
"It's our anniversary."  
"I know. So... what are you going to do? You can't very well talk to the bloody git, now can you? Not tomorrow."  
"Don't call him that. And yes... yes I can," he said, an idea forming in his head. "Do you remember that I wanted to ask him to marry me?"  
"...Yes..."  
"Well..."   
"Remus!" Sirius called, running over the grounds. He caught sight of the wizard sitting near the lake. His ears perked up and spirits soared at the familiar voice.  
"Sirius!" Remus cried out, his face glowing. Maybe Sirius changed his mind!  
Sirius felt his heart lurch. How could he do this? The unspeakable guilt welling up inside him was too much to bear. All thinking completely cast away, Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius and kissed him. The strange fireworks went off in his heart as a surge of electricity shot through them both through their lips. He almost just gave in to the temptation to return the kiss, but then an image of James crept through his mind.  
'No. This is not right! I love James!' he thought, pulling away quickly. "Remus, no."  
"Why not?"  
Arms still surrounding him, and pushing aside his feelings welling up, Sirius said, "We need to talk."  
"About what...?" he asked, his tone ever increasing in it's melancholy as he dropped his arms from Sirius's side and sat back down on the rock.  
"Look, Remus... I do love you, just not the way you want me to. I know how you feel to want something that you can't have. I will admit that I feel more than a normal friend would for you, but I don't love you in a romantic way. You have to understand, I am in love with James. He's right; we probably will spend the rest of our lives together. That will never change. I should have never allowed you to kiss me. My feelings toward you have been forever changed, but this can never happen again."  
Sirius finished, stifling a sob. This killed him to see one of his best friends so sad. Tearing his feelings for Remus apart would be equally difficult. But he could do it for James.  
"I'm sorry..." he said, having no choice but to leave Remus there, crying his heart out.  
"Wait!"  
"..." He stopped, but didn't turn.  
"I know that you love him and I respect that, but if anything ever changes, please come to me."  
Sirius turned and gave him a sad smile, saying, "You'll be the first I call."  
"And one more thing..."  
"Yes?"  
"I promise, I'll be the first one to clap at your wedding."  
Sirius felt a hot tear fall down his cheek as he turned and started back towards the castle.  
"Thank you, Remus... thank you," he whispered inaudible to Remus. 

Later that night, in the Gryffindor dormitories, Sirius and James sat by the fire, limbs intertwined, both half asleep with tears running down each of their faces.  
"You know that I'll always love you, right?"  
Sirius smiled softly, a gash of sadness still prevalent behind his eyes. "Thank you, James..."  
Tears still running down both of their faces, they shared a kiss. It wouldn't be the most passionate or the most meaningful, but they felt something in that kiss that changed something inside of them forever. Something that would last a lifetime.  
And James knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what he would do the following day.

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